A topic I believe is very important for living your best life with any chronic illness is having solid support system.

Chapter two in “The Complete Guide to Crohn’s Disease and Ulcerative Colitis: A Road Map to Long-Term Healing” is titled “Having a Solid Support System.” It’s such an important topic, that I wanted to cover it before I dove into the more tangible tactics.

I read quote on Instagram recently that went something along the lines of,

“Don’t mistake the people around you for the people supporting you.”

I can’t remember who posted it, unfortunately. I think this is a very important distinction to make when cultivating a support system.

When Our “Supporters” Aren’t Supportive

Often, we assume the people closest to us will be our supporters as we go through any crisis in life. Whether we are dealing with a health issue or something else, generally our closest friends, relatives, neighbors, coworkers, etc. are the people we can trust.

But, sometimes they are not.

If this is the case for you, it can be extremely discouraging and hurtful, of course. There are a number of reasons that these people aren’t being there for you. It’s possible they miss the “old” you and are sad or resentful that they can’t have that any more. They could be afraid or unsure how to act around you and decide just to distance themselves altogether.

If someone is challenging the validity of your health or situation, doubting it is true or that you need the help you are seeking, I personally think it’s best not to pour any more energy into these kinds of relationships.

You Deserve Better!

Supportive people are just that, supportive! you shouldn’t feel obligated to mend or keep up with draining or toxic relationships that don’t serve you, especially under the consideration that you are related or maybe they used to be a very close friend.

You are on a continuous, lifelong journey of healing yourself. You cannot do that with just diet alone. Our emotional state is directly related to our physical health. Once you understand and accept that, it is easy to see why toxic people just have to go.

Seek out new friendships or reach out to old ones that you grew distant with over the years. Having a positive, gratitude-filled mindset is key to bridging the gap between the mind and the body. It is hard to cultivate that way of living if you are among negative people.

Making the commitment to your happiness, your mental health, and the type of energy you want around you that is conducive to healing is what will propel you forward.

So, I challenge you to examine the relationships around you. Are these people filling your cup or draining it? Are conversations with them leaving you feeling bad about yourself or the situation you’re in? Are their words coming from a place of love and wanting to help, or resentment and doubt?

Be open to healing and in every capacity that entails, including having the loving people around you that you deserve.