Preventing yourself from healing through autoimmunity and chronic illness might sound like something you’d never do. However, this happens more than you know. It could even be happening right now. Yes, it’s true. And I’m here to gently lift the veil, because I want you to thrive!
Self-sabotage in the healing journey
I can look back and see several examples of self-sabotage in my own history with Crohn’s. Consciously I wanted to heal. Of course. And yet, some of my own behaviors actually worked against me.
How could that be?
Self-sabotage isn’t so logical. Self-sabotage is a reflection of deeper fears or other emotions like resentment or guilt.
So even if you want to heal more than anything, you could still be engaging in behaviors that scraps that plan off the table.
Between my personal experience of self-sabotage with Crohn’s and the years of seeing clients in my practice, here are some common examples.
If you see any of these in yourself, it’s no reason to beat yourself up. I recommend first sitting down to journal and explore what emotions and past experiences are fueling your actions.
Eating foods that don’t love you back
“I don’t feel good anyway, so I’m going to have the brownie sundae. Screw it.”
Have you ever thought something similar and then ate a food you know isn’t going to propel your health in the right direction?
What feels like an innocent indulgence reaffirms to you that,
- Food and other choices you make for yourself are made out of resentment, not love
- When things are tough, you abandon yourself
I know, that is a tough one.
What you say and do is subconsciously heard.
You need to be the best care-taker for you to show your subconscious you are worthy of healing and you are capable.
Creating stressful scenarios in your environment
By not making changes in your lifestyle that are fueling the fire, you’re self-sabotaging through avoidance.
Staying up late, remaining in a toxic relationship, doing a job you loathe, not exercising, these are all contributing to stressful environments.
You may wonder why nothing is working because your diet is great, but, these every day choices heavily influence our health.
A life audit of your work, relationships, and day-to-day habits is helpful to see what is keeping you stressed, out of balance, and in survival mode.
Unwilling to ask for help
Do you feel like you need to be the hero in your story? I’m here to tell you, you already are, even if you ask for help! Taking care of yourself on a chronic health journey is not easy. So rest assured, you’re already doing the hard work.
The feelings of not wanting to burden anyone with feeling unwell, needing assistance, or, feeling scared. You also may not want to admit you need the help (thanks, ego).
The truth is, figuring your health on your own is a noble journey, but, there comes a point when something isn’t working and you need to ask for help.
I take on a lot of clients who are in significant flare-ups, not tolerating foods well, lethargic, and feeling at the end of their rope. It’s my passion and honor to help them, but, I know that they are the do-er and care-taker type, and waited as long as possible to get help, and it’s hard to see the suffering that has been going on for so long.
You deserve help no matter what stage of health you’re in.
Sabotaging the help you do get
Self-sabotage can still show up once you “decide” to acknowledge what needs attention.
For example, in my work this can look like scheduling sessions but not showing up, not doing the work, i.e. not actually implementing any changes that were discussed, but are along for the ride, so to speak.
Logically and consciously, the desire is there but commitment falls short.
Reasons will always be there why we can’t make it work – new job, vacation, kids’ activities, tight budget, but, it comes down to not prioritizing the most important thing of all.
No matter where you are, there is always something, even if small, you can do to move the needle in your health.
Avoiding testing or appointments for fear of results or the work
I understand being fearful of testing results. Oh, do I!
Or, fearing what “work” lies ahead.
But, avoiding these important tests only means if there is a concern, it can potentially get worse if ignored.
Results and the work can be intimidating, but it’s always best to know and be empowered.
All in all
At some point you’ve probably self-sabotaged. Reminder: I myself am no stranger!
The first time is being honest if you’re blocking your healing or progress with chronic health issues.
With some conditions like IBD, ignored inflammation can lead to irreversible concerns like scar tissue build up and intestinal narrowing, which is why it is SO important to be on top of health.
Reflect on why the fear behind the action is there. Is it from a past experience?
Working through these emotions can come in many forms: journaling, EFT, therapy, nutrition support, and actively being aware of your thoughts and actions.
If you’ve self-sabotaged before, it’s okay. You can start anew at any time. I believe in you and your healing!
